Bullying: It's Not Just For Kids!

I admit that I have wanted to write this blog for several years now. I have even considered researching this topic as well. One of the main things that has held me back was my fear that others would invalidate my experiences and that of others who have also experienced bullying behavior as adults. I have come to realize that this is the exact reason why I need to write this. If adults are experiencing bullying incidents and are told that bullying does not occur in adults, that it is something we outgrow, this serves to only perpetuate the issue. If, however, those who have experienced this come forward and speak up, then it is an issue to be addressed. 

According to a survey conducted by a Harris Poll, 31% of people have been bullied as an adult. What defines adult bullying is feeling oppressed, belittled, humiliated, or de-energized by another. Actions can include personal insults, ridiculing jokes, threats, and public shaming according to an article from Very Well Mind.

I admit that I was not bullied in the traditional sense as a child. While there were the occasional mean or hurtful comments and behaviors in my direction, overall, it was an experience I was lucky to have avoided. This and the belief that I held that we do not need to be concerned with bullying behaviors as adults led me to invalidate my own experiences. I excused the behavior as not a big deal and chastised myself for being "too sensitive." 

According to an article in Counseling Today magazine, adult bullying is often covert and the effects can be overwhelming and long lasting. Other article shared that the impacts can include diminished self -esteem, increased anxiety and irritability, depression, and in some cases, even PTSD. These effects can last long after the bullying has stopped. Each person will likely differ in the impact the bullying has on them, however, there are some common ways to get help.

Of course, seeking counseling is one way to heal, whether from a person-centered, cognitive behavioral, or other approach. Creating and/or utilizing supports in your life can be helpful in knowing you are not alone and in rebuilding trust in others. In the moment, we can pick and choose our battles, make eye contact, escape if possible, and document the offenses. s bystanders of bullying, we can choose to speak out against the bullying behavior, model appropriate behaviors, and support those targeted by bullying. However, bullying will not end unless perpetrators of the behaviors accept responsibility and seek help for the underlying causes of their mistreatment of others.

For me, It has been quite liberating to share my experiences with others and acknowledge that the treatment I experienced was, in fact, bullying. It has also powerful to hear others' share their truth and validate them. With an increased spotlight on the need for mental health services, my hope is that we can all work together to challenge a culture that norms and celebrates interpersonal bullying. I hope that this blog can be impactful for you as well.

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-deal-with-adult-bullying-5187158#:~:text=What%20defines%20an%20adult%20bully,space%2C%20or%20unwanted%20personal%20contact.

https://ct.counseling.org/2023/05/working-with-adults-who-bully/

https://ct.counseling.org/2023/05/the-mental-toll-of-adult-bullying/

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